Column: No slapping, please, at the 2022 Newby Honors

December 23, 2022

As the globe redeemed a little bit of normality in 2022, the Newby Honors were wishing to create a honors reveal including all the beauty and also etiquette that were our fictional characteristics in the pre-COVID-19 period.

After that Will certainly Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars.

Easily, whatever altered.

We have actually needed to increase our pretended safety and security group and also pay a lot closer focus to seating graphes that do not really exist. It would not provide for Nick Saban and also Jimbo Fisher to arrive the very same table, if we really had tables.

So, with hopes of staying clear of an additional face-off like Smith’s hand vs. Rock’s jaw, we provide you the 10th yearly Newby Honors, a check out whatever from the goofy to the motivating to the infuriating on the planet of sporting activities.

We have actually just obtained one demand.

No slapping, please!


If you have actually ever before played a computer game and also asked yourself if your craziest step would really operate in actual time, we provide you Ross Chastain.

The NASCAR vehicle driver got on the edge of missing out on a place in the champion ending when he bore in mind competing supply vehicles on GameCube with his bro, Chad, as a child.

Especially, a step where you smudged the cars and truck versus the outdoors wall surface, release the guiding wheel and also pressed the pedal to the flooring.

It functioned much like it performed in the computer game. Instantly, on the last half-lap at the Martinsville brief track, Chastain’s cars and truck appeared it was shown up to hyper-speed while every person else was jabbing along.

Addressing the very least 50 miles per hour quicker than every person else, he passed 5 vehicles immediately to assert the last place in the title race.

” Played a great deal of NASCAR 2005 on the GameCube with Chad maturing,” Chastain stated. “I never ever recognized if it would really function.”

Sadly, he really did not take place to win the Mug champion. Yet Chastain will certainly long be born in mind for among one of the most bold driving screens in NASCAR background.


With his time as one of boxing’s most terrifying rivals behind him, Vitali Klitschko is handling the most difficult battle of his life.

Mayor of Kyiv.

The 51-year-old previous heavyweight champ has actually revealed his cold-blooded willpower while gazing down a Russian intrusion that has actually pounded Ukraine and also its funding city.

He never ever pulled back with handwear covers on his hands. He reveals that very same willpower as a politician, assisting assist a significant underdog.

” If I attempted to clarify to you all the obstacles that I have, we (would certainly) require weeks,” Klitschko informed an Associated Press press reporter last month.

This is what a real hero resembles.


The Russians have a grip on this honor, presenting definitely no respect for doping guidelines that could stand in the method of Olympic magnificence.

At the Beijing Winter Seasons Gamings, they went to it once again.

Kamila Valieva, a 15-year-old number skating professional, checked favorable for an outlawed compound however was still permitted to go for the gold.

It ended up being a disgraceful display screen. The unfortunate little lady given in all the analysis and also objection, stopping working to win a medal in females’s songs.

While Valieva’s collapse was viewed as a little bit of fate by those that really adhere to the guidelines, it does not figure to deter the Russians and also their wicked mission for gold at the following Olympics.


We have a connection for this honor.

FIFA was a lock after presenting the Globe Mug in a Center Eastern nation that disregarded civils rights, maltreated migrant employees, had little football background and also was so warm in the summer season they needed to relocate the event to November and also December.

Essentially, FINA sent an application with one need, “Program us the cash!” Qatar did, and also shamefully ended up with the globe’s most significant sporting activities( cleaning) occasion.

The reality that Argentina beat France in probably one of the most awesome last in event background does not reduce the odor of where it was played.

Yet when it concerns greed, allow’s not fail to remember Phil Mickelson & & Pals at LIV Golf, an upstart trip moneyed by an apparently infinite supply of cash from Saudi Arabia’s repressive leaders.

Lefty recognized that the Saudis were “terrifying,” however mosted likely to benefit them anyhow, bringing Dustin Johnson, Patrick Reed, Cameron Smith and also others along for the despicable flight.


Baseball can be a really tiresome video game.

Attempt informing that to the Savannah Bananas

The barnstorming group based in Georgia’s historical seaside city has actually taken the nation by tornado, changing the solemn ol’ nationwide leisure activity right into something comparable to the Harlem Globetrotters with bats and also handwear covers.

Continuously dancing regimens are done by gamers and also instructors. The Banana Infant exists to the group like Simba in the “The Lion King.” One gamer takes the area on looming stilts. Others walk via the stands, administering roses and also throwing Tees. Outs are counted when a follower captures a nasty round in the stands. Showboating is motivated at every chance.

Someplace in there is a baseball video game, though it can not go much longer than 2 hrs.

” We’re not in the baseball organization. We remain in the enjoyment organization,” states Bananas proprietor Jesse Cole, that is constantly very easy to find in his yellow coat.


Izzy, the unfortunate Atlanta Olympic mascot, can lastly hold his computer-generated, bug-eyed ball of a direct high once again besides these years.

When the 2024 Paris Gamings introduced their mascots– a set of French Revolution-era caps– Izzy was no more the most awful sign in Olympic background.

When provided his statuette, Izzy disclosed a wry funny bone.

” Whatizit?” he asked.


For this reward, we’re making a contribution to George Costanza’s fabricated charity in honor of the sporting activities number that really verified to be human in 2022.

Tom Brady.

His relatively excellent life revealed a lot of splits, from a playoff loss to an aborted retired life to an extravagant marital relationship that, unfortunately, finished in separation

As well as currently, Brady is the quarterback of a middling Buccaneers team that could simply be the initial of his outstanding 23-year profession to completed with a shedding document.

He also shed to a group directed by a person called Brock Purdy, by the embarrassing rating of 35-7.


While we get on the topic of Brady, we would love to take a minute to remove his long time previous trainer, Costs Belichick, of whatever wizard honors he could have obtained for many years.

Sure, Belichick is surrounding coming to be the winningest trainer in NFL background.

Yet, on the last play of a connection video game in Las Las vega, he evidently approved the ridiculous choice torecklessly toss the ball around like it was an offer to get in on cryptocurrency The Raiders chose off an in reverse toss and also amazingly took it the various other method for the winning goal.

There have actually been a lot of highlights over Belichick’s lengthy profession.

This was certainly as reduced as he’s ever before gone.

Keeping That, we’ll reduce the drape on an additional Newby Honors.

The good news is, it shows up nobody is entrusting to a slap-print throughout the cheek.


Paul Newberry is the nationwide sporting activities writer for The Associated Press. Contact him at pnewberry( at)


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